It's easy to miss the younger days, 'cause memories exaggerate, and I've been looking for an explanation for all that.
Accepting that this is the present has been the hardest thing for me, condemning time and emotion as two colliding lines.
None of that may even matter anymore. Everything's been building up to this point, yet I don't feel a thing about that.
All along I thought that I was changing, but what I've been becoming was always in my core, it's right at the core.
I'm too distracted by recent developments to look at the big picture, but I have to do it eventually.
Here's to the days you learn a little too much, but you face the facts, turn it into good luck. And you discover that what you thought was a problem really makes you happy in the end.
Who cares how you felt before or how you will? because this calming content is what matters for now. You think you're ready to take on the world, get a grip, and finally start living fully.
I feel great about that myself, but others might not be so kind. I get down from time to time about the lovely people in my life. It's difficult to avoid thinking of the things I wish were different.
Here's to the days when nobody sees that you're scared, or when you sacrifice for someone who doesn't care. And all the wrong people play the biggest roles, and it makes you sick to know that's what the future holds.
You hate to be away from others for long, because you realize what you'll miss when it's gone. But unfortunately they do not, and goodbyes and changes came sooner than they thought.
Why don't you care that I'm leaving? I want you to care that I'm leaving. I like to think there was a time when you would, but somewhere that slipped through the cracks.
I'm going to take a gutsy risk, one that makes my stomach churn. This could make things better than ever or shatter what little we have left.
I'm free. Free from getting to know the ceiling too well each night, and stifling inexplicable anger, that I just could not rationalize.
Free from stressing how to fake not-so-far-off situations. Free from fear of making blind purchases for tickets to hell.
I'm free, and I've never felt more peace in my life.
Now that that's all over with, I'm nervous to analyze your face. If I must, I'll connect with new people and move on to a new place.
After that, I have to deal with the dilemma of reconciliation. Regardless of what I decide, I'm ready for the persecution.
Here's to the days you feel a lack of control, and even the few who will console you are looking at you with such disdain that it only adds to the inflicted pain.
You're terrified as you come to know you could be living out your days alone. You must press on through the foray. Pray that everything is gonna be okay.
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